Last night Robyn and I drove to Austin to try and take care of some moving business. My intention was to go to my new apartment, unload some stuff from my car, and pay rent. Now ask me how much of that I got done.... 1/3 of those I got done, and yes it was just going to my new apartment. Although I did not get anything that I was supposed to get done...I did make some moves. When I say I made some moves I am referring to good changes in life.
I enjoy sacrificing my time and well being for others on the daily. Rarely will you see me put myself first and do something good for myself. This is a lot of the reason I find my self struggling in work and at home. For some reason "no" is just not a part of my vocabulary. Often I find myself in a rut because I have over-extended myself to someone else. Now I have decided that I need to focus a little more on what is good for me, rather than what is good for everyone else. Mainly because quite honestly...I'm exhausted.
I was telling a story to my friend Frank this morning about last night. My friend Christi drank a little too much and ended up in need of assistance. After about an hour of helping her, asking what she needed, and making preparations I realized that I needed to sleep. Most of me wanted to stay and help, but I knew what I needed to do. So I passed all of responsibility to Brianna and told her that I needed to go to sleep because I had to wake up in the morning. At that time Brianna was more than happy to take over and help and I then retired to the bed for some sleep. When telling this to Frank I felt a little bit bad for not staying up with her and making sure she got to bed, but I didn't even realize that I was taking a step in the right direction. He stopped me and told me he was very proud of me for taking care of myself as well as someone else. It was true. I took care of her the best I could and I then took care of myself. Wow, and everything was perfectly fine.
This is what I need to focus on. Sure I can take care of my friends and people that I care about, but at the same time I need to remember that I have responsibilities and needs as well. This I think will help me to balance my life and work a little better.
That wasn't the only positive move I made yesterday. I have recently been drinking a lot more than usual. Going out with friends to bars has become a weekend ritual. You see I have this problem where I drink entirely too fast. This causes me to get pretty intoxicated fairly quickly sometimes. I have a very high tolerance to alcohol, but that doesn't stop me from just going way too hard sometimes. We have come to notice that when I drink too much I have this alter ego. Lets call her Assyla. Friends of mine will say that they don't even know who I am sometimes(oh assyla you crazy girl). This is a problem. That is why I have decided to learn how to pace myself better, because you don't have to get drunk to have fun. I learned last night after a night of pacing myself, that it is actually a lot more fun if you don't drink that much. I am going to lay out what I drank last night just for fun.
-vodka/redbull - 1
-shot of crown (bleh)
Cheers to pacing myself correctly :]
It's time for me to get to work, because my work ethic has not been on point lately.