Wednesday, January 25, 2012


Nostalgia comes in waves recently. 

My most recent nostalgia is yearning to go back to my early high school days. I was so young, I was in love (or what I thought was love), and I was happy.  

When I was 15 I was going to Gregory Portland High School, I was dating Andrew Joseph Lonnon, I had my awesome group of friends that had great times together, I was in shape and loved cheering, successful in school and theater, I was a sweet little virgin, and my heart had never been broken.

I don't even remember that girl.

All I remember is life being tremendously easier. We all had such minimal responsibility and mama fixed every problem I had. It was so easy to just live. It seemed that my life was going to be so cookie cutter and I would have never pictured what I was about to go through in life. 

Now it seems every turn is another obstacle or beaten path that leads to the next obstacle. Although life sometimes makes it easy for a little bit, it doesn't like to make it too easy for extended amounts of time. 

I just want to go back and be that sweet innocent little girl that isn't damaged sometimes. 

I guess I've never really complained that much about where life lead me, but I feel like now I can say that it would have been a lot easier if my cards played out a bit differently. I wouldn't change a thing about who I am, because I believe that I'm genuinely a good person, but some obstacles I could have done without.

Well, no matter what I do there is one thing that I cannot change...and that is the past. I can control my attitude towards the future. That's all I can do. 

Look towards the future with both eyes open and both hands on the wheel.

Even if it means a head on collision...I will put my petal to the metal and drive towards the future.


Saturday, January 21, 2012

The Transition From Ex to Friend: 5 steps to the Friendzone.

Break-ups can be very tough on us. Whether we are talking about a relationship that is established or a 3 month's hard when you go from comfort to solitude. So I'm going to touch on a topic that I personally have dealt with multiple times in life.

The Initial Break-up

I like to believe there are 3 different kinds of break-up:

The Clean Break- This break up is when two individuals both realize that the relationship is going no where. You will usually start the conversation with something like "I think we both know what I'm about to say..." or "Okay if you're not going to do this I am...". Usually these are the cleanest break-ups because both parties expect and accept what is about to happen. These break-ups are actually more common with established, long term relationships or extremely short relationships. I would say the likeliness of friendship in these break-ups are high, but there is also a high chance of relapse. This relapse rate comes from the idea that stirs up in the aftermath bringing on thoughts like "Well we ended things so well... and we've been friends...I'm starting to forget why we broke up in the first place". See this is dangerous...because you will have lingering feelings brought on by loneliness forcing you into questioning, but I'll touch on that a little later.

The It's Not You, It's Me- Okay we all know that we see this in the movies, and although it may not be worded in this cliche, it is a real form of break-up. Sometimes even when one person thinks that their relationship is invincible, the other party is un-happy and dissatisfied in the relationship. These break-ups get a little bit messy and violent at times. You might even get a shoe thrown in your general direction and a lot of tears. Personally I'd like to use the generalization that these break-ups FUCKING SUCK. Sorry bout it, but no one wants to be told "Sorry babe I love you...I'm just not IN love with you anymore and I need some time to myself". Really they are saying "Listen. You just aren't all that I thought you were going to be. You're needy and attached and I am just not that into you." Usually these are more short term to medium length relationships. Most of the time the result of a relationship that has been rushed into or not completely thought through.

And last as well as least we have...

The Cheater- This category sometimes goes hand in hand with the It's Not You It's Me, but I think it is a completely different group in itself. These break-ups are the absolute messiest form of break-up. You absolutely will get a shoe thrown in your general direction and this time aimed at your head. These break-ups come with a lot of tears, "What did I do wrong"'s,  insecurities, and on the scale of one to heartbreak I'm thinking the heartbreak is extremely likely. Remorse is also very closely associated to these break-up's as well. It's almost sad that these break-ups have another high relapse rate. Not as likely as the clean break, but you are very likely to see "The second chance" happen, even though we are all familiar with the phrase "Once a cheater, always a cheater." Oh well, he or she will learn their lesson and in the long term they will, hopefully, become stronger in the end.

Side note: I have personally been through all three of these with the 3 guys in my life that I've been in real relationships with. So, I feel for any of you girls still going through this. If you ever wanna talk and/or party I'm always there to help my friends.

Now how does one go from heartbreak to friends?

I'll tell you it isn't an easy task and it takes a few steps, but in the end it is always nice to have that friend that knows you in ways that you don't know yourself. I swear sometimes my ex boyfriends are the only ones that can answer certain questions I have about myself. It may not be healthy, and there is always the dreaded drunk ex-dial, but when needed they are very nice to have around...well, most of them ;D.

FIRST step of all you will, depending on the break-up (less common in the INYIM's), bounce back and have a relapse...or two...or three. These are usually brought on by leaving the comfort zone and having a small form of mono-phobia. It's pretty soon after the break up when you start to realize that you are alone and that's when a. your friends throw a bunch of "your single! lets get fucked up!" parties or give you going out excuses ("Ay we have to go out because its the first hump day that YOU'RE SINGLE!!!!") or b. you get back together with your ex. Now 90% of these relapses do not work out. You get back together too soon when neither of you is ready and nothing has changed. So what happens? Well, you break up again...probably for the same reason that you split the first time. Repeat 2 more times. Then, finally something happens that finalizes the break up and you both realize that it really isn't going to work.

NEXT is step 2 the realization period. Here you are...wallowing in self-pity...going in and out of bawl sessions...looking at old pictures...feeling numb...watching something cliche like The Notebook or PS. I Love You...when you realize...that you are going to be JUST FINE. This part could quite honestly take weeks or even a year, but when it happens you know. Don't force it either because you can't give your heart to someone new until it is completely healed. It's kind of like when your dog passes don't go that day and get a new one...because you wont like it as much. Also then that pup will see you crying about your past puppy and it's just a big emotional mess. Also, don't force yourself to date! This is really common because we see our friends with boyfriends or casually dating and we think that we need to be doing that too. If you AREN'T ready then you AREN'T ready. So now that you have taken that next step to at least realize that your ex is just an ex and you're going to be can now move on to step 3.

STEP 3 Start dating (When you are ready, if not...repeat step 2) and when you do...give the guys a chance! It's nerve-wrecking going back into the dating world. You probably will start off a. rushing into something you aren't ready for and breaking some poor guy/girl's heart b. make a fool of yourself by being slightly unprepared or rusty in the dating game and c. make at least one poor decision in dating (if you know what I mean). All of these are perfectly normal. As long as you are putting yourself out there you are moving in the right direction. If you feel that feeling of butterflies in your stomach, smiles in your texts, and kisses that make you dizzy DON'T RUN AWAY. This could be a chance for you to explore yourself with someone new so don't pump the brakes...but put the pedal to the metal. If it doesn't workout don't sweat it, you have plenty of time.

Chris, if you're reading Let's hang Sunday!

STEP 4, The conversations start. Now I know that you and your ex probably haven't talked much other than drunken texting and sappy I miss yous, but a sober "Hey, How are you doing!?" is completely fine if you have given enough time. Remember: Some men/women may not be mature enough to handle this kind of interaction with you, but everyone has their own pace. Remember: you may be over it and he/she is still living in the past and not being able to move on. Most of the time the conversations are civil, mature, and end up with a good opportunity for friendship. Don't push your ex to hangout with you when they aren't ready, because quite honestly that will make you look like a needy emotional wreck...which we have already determined you aren't anymore.

STEP 5 begins the friendship process. Go to a park and talk about life, laugh about all of the stupid things you did with that person, and help them if they need it. Remember at one point in your life this person WAS your best friend and knows you. They most likely still care about you on a platonic level so if you want to talk to them about something going on with you do it! Just be careful for the danglers. I call Step 2'ers the danglers, because they dangle there on a string like a puppet. Even though you are ready for this friendship and are taking steps in the right direction, they are still checking your Facebook every ten minutes and laying in bed wondering what they did wrong. Hopefully though, everything is normal and kosher.

Friends at last

^^^CLICK ME^^^
Now that you've made it through the break up process and into the friendzone. CONGRATS!

I love that this picture negates my entire blog. MWAHAHAHAHA.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Keeping a Good Balance.

TODAY has been all about finding balance. Balance is something that is very important in life no matter who you are. I have noticed a lot that people will try and find balance, but resort to change. 

Change can fill a void in your life when you find yourself unbalanced. It's easier to retreat to a new city, new job, or new group of friends than to sit down and come up with a plan. To use your thinking capabilities to realize when you need to not change, but reassess your life.

Come up with a plan:

-Make a map of your life.
-Find out what you need and what you want....there is a difference. 
-Put all of your debts and finances down on paper.
-Relax: come up with a plan to spend at least an hour a day relaxing. (Yoga, reading, blogging, etc..)
-Exercise: come up with a plan or schedule some exercise routines. 
-Think: take some time in each work week to come up with new ideas and schedule thinking time. 

For me, I keep talking about doing things....but leave it at talk. Maybe what I need isn't a HUGE change, but a good balance. Maybe changing small habits at a time instead of a huge life plan could be more helpful, also getting to know myself professionally as well as in a social aspect. 

Be yourself, because when you try to be something you're start to lose the part of you that everyone knows and loves.

Take a second to remember that you are fine and life is beautiful.

As for love, 

Now love is something that you can't exactly plan as easily.

Although love is harder to understand or plan, you can just as well make a plan for love. Accept that some things are out of your control and that even so you will be loved. 

You may not believe that you will ever find the perfect person, or that you are incapable of real love...

Maybe you just need to come up with balance in life before you find balance in love. 
Take the time to come up with a plan for love.

Here are a few tips when looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right:

  • Put yourself out there.
  • If you have a crush or like someone, acknowledge it and let them know, you may be surprised by their mutual interest.
  • REMEMBER: The worst that can happen is rejection, and even that isn't too bad.
  • Don't give up thinking you are always going to be Friend-zoned or rejected.
  • Always remember that if you think negative you are more likely to have a negative reaction.
  • Confidence is key when meeting new people whether romantic or platonic.
  • Always believe in yourself.
  • Find your own balance.
  • Get out there and discover new things.
  • Put yourself in the situation to meet people with similar interests (shows, dog parks, cafe's, coffee shops)
These are just a few tips to help push you in the right direction. I hope they help and that you all find balance in your own lives. 

Dreams always have the ability to become reality.

Sincerely me, 
 Alyssa Lee 

Saturday, January 14, 2012

This was me about 20 minutes ago.

I was gonna write a blog about it....

..but instead looked up adorable pictures of JGL & Zooey. 

....le sigh

Wednesday, January 11, 2012


Honestly, who isn't drawn to someone who is artistic or creative in life.......

Yeah...that's what I thought...everyone is.

Creativity refers to the phenomenon whereby a person creates something new (a product, a solution, a work of art, a novel, a joke, etc.) that has some kind of value. What counts as "new" may be in reference to the individual creator, or to the society or domain within which the novelty occurs. What counts as "valuable" is similarly defined in a variety of ways.

It's the art of making something out of nothing.
Whether it be musical....

photo by: Kimberly

This is Taylor Crawford. I met Taylor about a year or so ago and this girl is so talented I can't wait to see her progress in music and watch her grow in the music industry! 

Or it can be seen in photography...

Kimberly Scott

Kim is one of the most talented people I know and her photography and just the way she lives her life inspires me to be a better person. I met her a little over a year ago...maybe 2 years ago...I don't keep track of time as I should. I care so much for this woman though. Just to see the way that she cherishes life and her family inspires me so so much. 

I can't talk about photography and leave out my friend Amber Rose 

Amber lives here in Austin now and works at Red Rogue studios here. She is so talented and you can see that in the picture above. Her spicy attitude and nurturing nature draw people in and make her one of a kind. Her artistic eye with photography is obvious when looking at her work. This girl never ceases to amaze! 

Or there are the crafty ones...

Made by: Mandy Alyssa Wright 

Let me tell you a little about my friend Mandy. Mandy got into a very serious car accident a couple years ago and she actually just finished her last surgery recently. She is one of the strongest and uplifting people that I have met in the last couple years. Her strength through times of immense pain and frustration just makes me want to be so much stronger than I am. This girl will not only stand up for herself but stand up for her friends as well. Don't mess with the girl in braces ;). We grew to be such great friends and despite everything she's been through she will still drink you under the table! I love you Mandy. 

Now I have to tell you a little about my friend Mack Damon.

He produced and helped make the video I posted above and without this amazing man I would have never met all of the people that I have mentioned so far in this blog. He is so creative and wonderful and you can almost see the creative brainwaves when this man has an epic idea. He also has a tendency to bring wonderful people together. For this we are all grateful. I love you sir. Keep up your beautiful way of living and inspiring. This world needs you.

All of these people and so many more inspire my creativity and make me want to be better than I am. 

Where do you find creativity?
I'd say the answer to this is inside of you. I remember when I was younger I used to find any way I could to be creative. I was a member of about 4 failed band attempts, left 5 scrapbooks unfinished, and probably drove my mother crazy with all the hobbies I tried as a young girl. I sometimes wonder where my creativity went.....

Yeah I love photography and some might say I'm kinda good at it, but even that I find myself lacking inspiration and leaving projects unfinished. I think we should all make it a goal that in 2012 we're going to


It doesn't have to be something big...maybe you'll make a purse or a scrapbook. Use your creative vibes and just come up with something for just you. 

Find something that you are good at and go with it. 

I promise you wont regret it. 

On that note...I'm off to Hobby Lobby.
Also...I'm finally going to make a portfolio for photography. 

photo: Alyssa Lee
subject: Courtney Meyers

I think everyone should check out this site, just cause it's kind of cool.

Monday, January 2, 2012


Dearest New Year,

Today is day two of the New Year. I would have posted yesterday, but I was a bit distracted.

My New Years eve was a little blurry. Though I have to say that I am glad I got to start it with my friends and spend most of it with my new Austin family.

This year is a big one for me.

I have recently moved and started a new job. I think all of this change is going to be great though and I'm going to finally learn how to be self sufficient and figure out how to be alone.

You see, I have never been completely alone and on my own. I have always had some sort of backbone...but I feel that now I am going to stop being in the comfort zone and build my life up on my own. As well as try to be financially comfortable by myself.

I declare today.....

My own personal independence day.

I will have the next month to build up my new career, build up some new friendships, and cleanse my life of any impurities. Also, I plan to find peace with myself and try to treat my body as it deserves to be treated. 

By August I plan on having all of this:

- $3,000 in my savings account (minimum)
- a comfortable checking account
- all debts paid off
- be living completely on my own
- set career goals and meet them
- learn how to do things completely on my own/ find my comfort zone.
- have a normal workout schedule and stick to it
- have healthier eating habits.
- drink a lot less regularly

just a few goals for myself.