Sunday, April 29, 2012

A Preconcieved Notion.

A preconcieved notion- an opinion formed beforehand without adequate evidence.

I have formed my opinion on people based on these notions before in life, as I'm sure most of you have as well. It is the most admirable thing in the world when someone can be so genuine to look past these and get to know someone for the person who they are. It is not an easy task, you can believe that, and sometimes people make mistakes that lead to negative harsh words. Also, when you grow so close to someone and give your complete trust and respect to them, it's extremely difficult to take their opinions without forming those of your own.

Recently someone had the courage to do this with me, and for that I am ever thankful. This girl is a beautiful soul and I am so glad that she gave me the respect that she did...and allowed herself to see me through her own eyes.

I believe that there is simply a lack of communication in modern day friendships, which has made trust to be something that is rarely found in close friendships. Pride can also get in the way of forgiveness and you will lose friends that you never expected, simply because you are both too proud to admit your faults. I have experienced all of this, as I am sure most of you have.

I realize sometimes I just have to look in the mirror and say "as much as you think you are right, Alyssa Lee, look at it from their point of view, forgive, and forget." which always leads me to the whole "yeah, you know're right I was kind of a jackass and I love you."

If we could just talk about what is bothering us when it's bothering us...I believe that friendships in females would be a whole lot easier. If we would show people how much we love them instead of just posting it to social networks, if we could spend more time with our friends trying to understand them better, and if we could just get past ourselves sometimes...we would all be so much happier.

Recently I have given talk of giving up on holding my friendships so high in life. Well, I've realized in the past couple of days that maybe instead of letting go of these friendships maybe I just need to get over my fears and be the friend I know that people want and need.

So as of now. Just living and loving. I love you, friends.

Alyssa Lee

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Growing up

Lately in the life of Alyssa Lee...

Well, lets just say that life is changing all around me. Right now it seems to be a clusterfuck, but I see the future and it looks bright from where I'm standing. I've decided that I don't have to take all of my friendships as seriously as I have in the past. I have been looking out for myself more than I ever have before and learning to do things on my own hasn't been easy. Who said life was easy though.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
-Audrey Hepburn

Work has been more challenging then ever before...but I think this is good for me. I have started this new position of leasing captain for a few properties in my area. This has had my nerves twisted, but I know that I just need to stay confident in myself and I will do great :].

My work is the only ground I've ever had to stand on. I seem to have a whole superstructure with no foundation but I'm working on the foundation.

Dating in my twenties has been interesting to say the least. As ADD as I am in my daily life...I think my ADD tendencies follow me into the dating life. I find myself interested in finding someone to spend my time with, but at the same time I haven't really decided if I want to be committed again. Commitment in relationships has always been a struggle with me.

I guess I have always been deeply terrified to really be someone's wife since I know from life one cannot love another, ever, really. -Marilyn Monroe

I've decided to put going out downtown on the back burner. I have realized that putting on a dress and hitting the streets has never really been my thing for a reason. A nice cold beer and good conversation with friends is more of my scene. That or a bottle of wine and a good tv show in my bed seem to be more enjoyable then the dramatics of downtown.

Things I need to focus on to suceed:

-getting completely organized at work even if that means spending my home life making marketing initiatives.
-showing my body some love via excersize and developing healthy eating habits.
-getting organized at home and finishing my move completely.
-finding someone to sublet my old apartment, because paying for 2 leases is starting to kill my finances.
-getting registered and ready for summer school
-getting involved with some sort of organization to volunteer some of my time to charity.
-re-vamping my photography business & website.
-focus on the positive qualities in all people, even if they are difficult to find.
-spend more time with my best friend and other half, Brianna Grace.

Just a little update on my life, for those who are interested.

Alyssa Lee