Thursday, February 23, 2012

The unavoidable difference between cute & hot.

There is one word that I have heard more than a million times when people are describing me, and that would be the word "cute".

Cute refers to a sort of girl/boy next door quality, wholesome and all-American. A cute person is de facto attractive, but in an innocent and conventional way. Cute people will have an average to above average figure but if they are out of shape boys are generally thin while girls may carry a little too much weight in the hips and chest. Cute can be a very forgiving term, especially if used by your significant other.

Hot refers looks that fit into the aspiring model or porn star category. Hot people take the time to sculpt their bodies to their idea of perfection, while at the same time lavishing care on their hair and skin. Obviously hot people are attractive, but in a way that screams both sex and high maintenance. It may be possible that you don’t know any hot people personally, but have only seen them in movies or fashion magazines.
There is a very distinct difference between the two. I have become very aware of this difference as well, seeing as most of my closest friends are in the "hot" category. I enjoy my place in the "cute" category and I wouldn't change it for the world.

While I think that we all understand the two...I also believe that there are middlezones. Take Americans latest craze in the female actress category and fortunate for me she just so happens to be my doppleganger, Zooey Deschanel.

"So you're sayin' I got a chance" ;3

"The consensus is that cute people make good boyfriends/girlfriends. When you first encounter a cute person at a party, you will more than likely first be drawn by his personality or actions. Only later, after your friend asked how you liked so-and-so will you reply: “he’s cute.” Cute people are excellent for long-term relationships, cinematic cuddling, and eventual marriage.

Because hot people know that their looks are fleeting, their actions are also often frenetic. Hot people exude a sexy vibe that borders on slutty. Most people would rather “hook up” with a hot person rather than enter into a relationship. It is felt that anyone who spends that much time on her looks wants to show herself off whenever possible. The perception is that hot people excel at one night stands but not much else."

Most of my friends are found in the middlezones. They are the cute/hot combo...the double threat!

So ladies, you wont always fit in one category. You may be one of the lucky ones...the Double Threat.

Double threat

The Double Threats will most likely be in and out of long-term relationships, but always the center of attention when that facebook status changes to SINGLE. They are the life of the party, but also enjoy the housewife status when they are ready for it. Usually they are very indecisive with friendships and relationships. A dangerous and unpredictable combination makes for a pretty big challenge to most guys, which is why most of them are single 80% of the time. If you catch the eye of one of these girls hold on tight because it's going to be a bumpy'll see though in the's well worth it.

So whether you are hot, cute, or both...get it girl. ;D

-Alyssa Lee

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Okay if I don't talk about this I'm going to scream.

I think everyone is a little bit broken. I'm not meaning broken in a literal sense, but in parts of life. We all know that picture in our heads when we imagine a girl that is hiding behind a smile. The life of the party girl that on the outside looks like she's got it all figured out when you and I both know that she's really lost.

Last year at this time my heart broke. Hearts are like cars...when they break down it can either be a quick fix or a lot of little things that add up to a massive engine failure. Personally I have terrible luck with cars. I believe that I can honestly say that it mirrors my success in dating.

You know that feeling when you get a brand new are over the top excited. You want to drive it all over town, show it off to all your friends, and constantly talk about it. Then over time you have fender benders, sometimes you run out of gas and get stranded on the side of the road, or one of your friends doesn't like your new car and will make fun at your expense.

Sound familiar?

See for me, I am constantly messing up my cars, which forces me to get a new car. I'm tired. Tired of messing up cars and relationships. I'm tired of feeling hurt. I'm tired of feeling anything.

That's what scares me. If true love exists then I've had it. I'm okay with that and I'm pretty sure you don't find true love more than once. Which leads me back to the part of the story where I tell you all that I'm broken.

Broken as well as broken down. I feel like I have had a head on collision and survived. I'm okay...I'm living and breathing and doing everything that I'm told to do. That doesn't change the fact that my car I once loved and showed off to the world is completely totaled. You don't come back from that easily.

What they don't tell you about dating is that it's exhausting. All the pretending and trying to relate to someone that you know in a week wont matter is pure crap. I have this problem where I build guys up to bring them down. I don't do this on purpose...I just feel like I am broken. I'm closer and closer to settling. I've always thought that I was going to have this big romantic love story and be happy with a great little family. Now I have this almost certain feeling that I'm going to be alone forever. I find myself struggling with thoughts of settling just so that I can have the chance for a family in the future. It's like I find guys that are EXACTLY what I wanted when I was in love, but I build them up in my head the first couple days and then I flip a switch. I talk them up to myself just to talk myself out of it.

He's so nice! Oh he took me out, paid for everything, and we like all of the same things. I really like this boy! This time it's different, because he's so perfect. My parents love him and keep telling me I have to date him. I think he's so freakin cute! He bought me flowers and took me to my FAVORITE restaurant...I'm telling you...this is the one. I have a new boyfriend!

.....2 weeks later....

He's so annoying I want to shoot myself when he speaks. WOW he is so dumb. I get annoyed with every word he says. Dude, he's so needy it's ridiculous. I don't even want to talk to him anymore. Maybe if I just ignor him he'll take a hint. Is it weird that I don't even want to kiss him. I dunno...he's just kind of weird. He gets drunk after 2 beers! Who does that!?


I find myself going back and forth with it.

Yet I still get into these relationships that are obnoxiously predictable. My friend Andy told me that he thinks I'm trying to force myself into relationships that I'm not ready for. Trying to find that guy that is textbook and way too similar to my ex. When am I going to be ready? Is there ever going to be a time when I completely stop missing what I had?

You know I am starting to think that it's not going to happen for me. It's not going to stop...but it will get easier. It will maybe even get to a point where my heart doesn't sink into my stomach when I run across old pictures of us hidden in my apartment. I might even find someone to fall for.

Until then....I am broken.

but at least now I can accept it. I am quitting dating.