WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Today I realized. 

I want more in life. I want to help others in a bigger way...not just picking up a friend when they need a ride or giving a homeless person extra clothing. There is so much more I would like to learn and do in my life. It's one thing to talk of this, but another to actually act on it. I've been spending so much time "talking" about things that I would like to do and not actually doing them. 


When you look at me in a nutshell what have I accomplished?


I've made great friends and have lived an adventurous life, but none of that is going to be put on paper. 


On paper I am a college dropout that has just recently learned how to hold onto a decent job. 


That's it.


Yes, I have lived in 24 different houses in my 22 years and probably have enough life stories to fill 10 books....but if I'm not filling those books I feel like my life really isn't that significant. I have a mere $200 to my name today.


The holidays are about giving and I feel this year all I have to give is myself, but is that enough?


I read a blog of somebody who is very dear to my best friend today, and it inspired me to be a better person. Not just talk about it anymore.

Starting tomorrow I will make my own schedule. It's going to be a good year. 




<3


Alyssa Lee

Who I am.

I am
Alyssa Lee Linder


I love pretty much everyone. 
I cry during almost every movie. (including Transformers and X-men)
I'm upbeat and smile a lot, because I like to see others smile back.
I have insecurities as much as the other guy. 
I sometimes pull my pants up when I sit down so that I wont have a pooch when I drink.
I enjoy having fun spontaneous adventures with strangers.
I also enjoy taking long drives and listening to music.
I like to dance in the middle of the dance floor.
I sometimes like to randomly bust out 80's dance moves, just because I can. 
I'm awkward and sometimes over the top.
I talk too much, but usually that means I feel out of place. 
I ALWAYS over-analyze everything
I love kissing entirely too much.
I cry when I'm drunk, because I have issues just like the next person.
I am bad with money and rarely make the right financial decisions.
I'm adventurous and spontaneous.
I will listen to you and help you because I DO care. 
I most of the time will not believe that you're my true friend.
I have been hurt, and I am stronger because of it. 
I am capable of love, but terrible at maintaining it. 
I lie sometimes when I really like someone in fear of getting hurt. 
I break some hearts, but can't explain why. 
I will watch stupid romance movies all night and realize that something is missing. 
I will dance in the middle of an empty parking lot to Justin Timberlake or Usher. 
I will make things awkward. 
I will say the wrong things and regret it in the morning.
If you put on The Notebook I will quote the entire movie.
I never have admitted the real reason that I love Spiderman. 
I sometimes feel like I relate to boys more than girls, but love big groups of females. 
I drink too much, and like it.
I can never say no to a good time, or a friend. 
I will help you if you need me. 
I can be extremely irresponsible sometimes. 
I sometimes date younger guys, because I think that I might be scared of expectations.
I believe that comfort is probably the biggest and most important feeling for me. 
I also believe that it is EXTREMELY hard to find. 
I am forever indecisive and rarely know what I truly want. 
I am un-happy....a lot. (but I don't tell anyone)
I feel like there are only 3 people in this world I truly can rely on and trust.
I try my hardest to be an honest person, but I have a hard time being honest about how I feel.
I really would like to be closer with my family, but don't know where to start. 
If you have gotten to this point, I'm sorry my list is so long. 
I put others before myself, and I'm done trying to change that. 


I am me. 

And that's all I can be, take it or leave it.

-Alyssa Lee

Love, Actually.

Love and other drugs


When I think of love automatically I think of the love you find in a significant other. I believe this is the first thing that comes to most minds. Well, I'm going to address a different kind of love today. The kind of love you not only find in your best friends, but also in strangers, and most importantly in family.

Love itself is the most profound feeling known to human beings. It's a feeling that every single human on earth longs for and is necessary for human growth. What is missing I think in most individuals is not only searching for love in a boyfriend/girlfriend, but also harnessing love for the people who care about us...or even more difficult is showing love to people know we do not know.  Love isn't an emotion that should ever be lacking in life or in friendships. The way I have always seen it is that friendships are relationships. It's really hard to separate the two.

Love isn't who you are dating, it's who you decide to genuinely care about and share your life with. That includes not only friends and family, but strangers and significant others as well. 

It's time to stop being so self-involved, or to start being more self-involved depending on your situation. I know with me I had the hardest time giving myself the credit deserved as well as the time to myself that is necessary to love myself. There is a lot of great qualities in all of us and if we can balance all of the positive and negative, I believe we will be more apt to give love to everyone who deserves it. Also it will be easier to see the good in others when we realize the good in ourselves.

My goals for myself:

-Give more people the benefit of the doubt, and try not to be so quick to judge.
-Find out what qualities I love about myself, and focus on those instead of my negative qualities.
-Give myself more credit
-Stop over-extending myself when it isn't necessary....learn to say no.
-Get more comfortable with being alone...not only at home, but also in public.
-Don't change who I am as a person to make others happy/comfortable. Be myself, always.
-Love myself completely
-Learn to overcome the past and move forward for myself.

Thanks for listening,
Alyssa Lee

DETOX

detox [ˈdiːˌtɒks] Informal

n

(Medicine) treatment designed to rid the body of poisonous substances, esp alcohol and drugs

WELP, tonight I realized (finally) that apparently my body has a limit.

I mean....who wants to end up like this guy ^^^^

So, the next week I may or may not disappear off the face of the earth. 

I'll be doing things like......

Love 

ALYSSA LEE

FandL

Disclaimer: I have realized from my blog stats that people want to hear about love, lust, and infatuation. This is why I have decided to address love or something of the sort in each blog. So if you aren't interested in reading about things of the sort, leave now.

1. FUCKING AND LOVING: The difference and why both are important. 

Casual sex

While personally I don't feel comfortable having casual sex, it seems to be seen more and more in women and men in their early 20's to be slightly normal. Who's to tell these individuals that is wrong? The topic of casual sex always brings one thing to mind for me... Sex and the City. 

I live to believe that there is no timeline for love. You could have sex/lust over 15 guys before finding Mr. Right, while "Cindy" on the other side of town just sits around patiently waiting and doesn't find the one for the same amount of time. Who's to tell you that next Friday's one night stand wont end up being your soulmate? Or that that guy that you met in the bookstore and invited to coffee wont be the love of your life. As I have said before I do not partake in casual sex, but that's not to say that I don't understand it. 

10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex.

Health-wise sex is something that is needed for personal maintenance. That doesn't mean go out and sleep with just anyone. Remember there are also a lot of sexually transmitted diseases out there to worry about, so take proper precautions loves. 

Now for the portion where we switch our focus to love.

"Love is just like someone waiting for a bus. When the bus comes, you look at it and you say to yourself "ooh...so full....no more available sit"."I'll wait for the next one". So you let the bus go and waited for the second bus. Then the second bus came, you looked at it you say, "eew...this bus is so old...so shabby!" So you let the bus leave and again, decided to wait for the next bus. "

This is pretty accurate when on the subject of love. HOLD YOUR HORSES. He/She is out there and they will be with you when it is fitting. 

You will find the right bus, don't worry. 

...also maybe you found the right bus, but you got off at the wrong stop. No one can know for sure that the bus wont come back around. So be patient. Breathe. 

<3

Alyssa Lee

Inspiration to be a better person, Lucas' story.

I was browsing the interwebz the other day, yeah I know... SUPRISING. Well, I came across this story that made my heart long to grow. Most of us feel that when in a rut or time of need that there is no one there. This is so far from the truth it's ridiculous.

I don't think that we understand how little effort it takes to make a difference.

http://newsfeed.time.com/2011/12/06/family-raises-55000-for-sons-bone-marrow-transplant-thanks-to-reddit/

It seems a lot of the articles/documentaries/posts that have caught my attention have been about helping others, and this makes me want to try harder to help people in need. I know I can't change the world, but I'll settle for changing a mood, or even just changing someone's attitude towards life.

On that note...I'll leave you all with this.

Just proves how easy change can be made.

Next time you think about hurting someone or even just talk bad about them, say something nice. Or do something nice. I promise it will be a lot more rewarding.

Thanks for listening

Alyssa Lee

Photos that make me happy.