Nostalgia

Nostalgia comes in waves recently. 

My most recent nostalgia is yearning to go back to my early high school days. I was so young, I was in love (or what I thought was love), and I was happy.  

When I was 15 I was going to Gregory Portland High School, I was dating Andrew Joseph Lonnon, I had my awesome group of friends that had great times together, I was in shape and loved cheering, successful in school and theater, I was a sweet little virgin, and my heart had never been broken.

I don't even remember that girl.

All I remember is life being tremendously easier. We all had such minimal responsibility and mama fixed every problem I had. It was so easy to just live. It seemed that my life was going to be so cookie cutter and I would have never pictured what I was about to go through in life. 

Now it seems every turn is another obstacle or beaten path that leads to the next obstacle. Although life sometimes makes it easy for a little bit, it doesn't like to make it too easy for extended amounts of time. 

I just want to go back and be that sweet innocent little girl that isn't damaged sometimes. 

I guess I've never really complained that much about where life lead me, but I feel like now I can say that it would have been a lot easier if my cards played out a bit differently. I wouldn't change a thing about who I am, because I believe that I'm genuinely a good person, but some obstacles I could have done without.

Well, no matter what I do there is one thing that I cannot change...and that is the past. I can control my attitude towards the future. That's all I can do. 

Look towards the future with both eyes open and both hands on the wheel.

Even if it means a head on collision...I will put my petal to the metal and drive towards the future.

<3